false alarm. still invincible.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my being single is dangerous.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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