Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
