What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We left the knife in your bed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize