So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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