Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
