She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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