Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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