I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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