omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
