those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
