The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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