Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
how drunk are you?
Several
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
