can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
