____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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