Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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