I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
