you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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