so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
