I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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