No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
