Just fell off a train. Bad.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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