your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
