Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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