so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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