can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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