i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
