SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
