I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Welp...herpes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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