i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
