I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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