My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have aggressive nipples.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
