Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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