where does the pee come out of this thing
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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