Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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