guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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