So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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