your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
