No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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