I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize