he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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