But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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