Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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