Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
