I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
