Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
