White coat. Heels.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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