How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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