Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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