she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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