the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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