I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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