i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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