I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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