Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
