I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
