so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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