It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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