i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
