How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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