You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
