So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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