i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
